Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon is basically the property of Takeuchi Naoko, Kodansha Comics, and Toei Animation.

 

Note:  This is written in the script format designated by my class.  All description and most action is on the far left; dialogue is more centered, and under the speaker's name.  Anything in parenthesis is a stage direction.  The horizontal lines separate scenes.  Just for the six of you who I know won't be able to figure it out.  And I apologize if anyone can't read this due to the strange margins; if anyone has a problem, don't hesitate to e-mail me and let me know.  I'm experimenting with this, you see... I'm not quite sure what I'm doing, but here goes!

 


 

 IT'S NOT ALWAYS EASY

A Screenplay

By Gita Toronjil-Lee

 


 

 

INT. DARK CAVERN, NO TIME DISTINGUISHABLE

 

The cave is dark and still, lit only by a few greenish glows in the crevices from unseen light sources.

 

In the center of the cave is a slumped male form, lying on the ground face-first, dark grayish clothing torn, short blonde hair tousled.This man, JADEITE, is the only thing visible in this area.

 

JADEITE

(groans) Don't wanna get up...

 

Nevertheless, the form stirs, and pushes itself up with its hands, bringing its knees under it, ending in a tired sitting position.Jadeite slowly raises his head, and, despite the darkness, the whites of his dark eyes glitter.

 

JADEITE

Well, that much accomplished.I really can't just lay here, I suppose... even if I still don't want to get up.Oh, well.What kind of warrior would I be if I just gave up and quit moving?

 

Every word he has said has echoed throughout the cavern, but it is only now that he seems to notice this, looking around himself confusedly.

 

JADEITE

Where in the world am I?The last thing I remember is... is...

 

He looks up, searching his memory for an answer, and is eventually supplied with the last words he remembers hearing, which now seem to ring through the cave.

 

WOMAN'S VOICE

(hollow-sounding, distant) Eien no nemuri...

 

JADEITE

Queen Beryl-sama.The eternal sleep crystal.I was supposed to be punished by remaining there forever... how did I escape?

 

 

His head falls forward miserably, but after a few seconds his hands reach and slide upward into his hair, and he rubs his scalp.He sighs, and carefully pushes himself to a standing position, tottering forward a few steps to recover his equilibrium, finally resorting to bracing himself against the rock wall with his right hand.

 

Now standing, he looks down at himself, and his fingers move to touch the violent-looking, charred tears down the front of his sturdy jacket.

 

JADEITE

(absently categorizing, as though he does not realize he is talking)

 

My uniform is torn...

 

His free left hand moves in front of his face, and he looks at the smudges that run down it.Though he cannot see that his face is similarly dirtied, he can see his lower body, and the disturbed expression that crosses his features as he analyzes this shows that he is realizing that the smudges are not limited to his arm.

 

JADEITE

...there are black marks all over me...

 

He looks further down, toward his thick leather footwear.

 

JADEITE

...there are holes in my boots...

 

His vision travels back to his bare hands.

 

JADEITE

...and I've no idea as to where my gloves went.

 

The look on his face through this exploration of his injuries has changed from incredulous horror to disgust to confusion, and now is settling into a sort of denial/resignation.

 

JADEITE

(weakly, sarcastically)Did anyone catch the number of the 747 that hit me?

 


 

INT. BEDROOM OF A TEENAGE GIRL, 8:13 P.M.

 

The room is relatively small.A large window faces the door; along the left wall is a twin bed, over which are a number of posters featuring various anime characters, and along the right wall is a desk/dresser with a computer on the top.A teenage girl sits typing at this computer.

 

There are no lights on in the room, but the glare of the numbers on her digital alarm clock illuminates her hands; her face is lit by the glow of the monitor.

 

The GIRL is lost in concentration, but is smiling faintly as she types.

 

GIRL

(muttering to self) ...after making this weary declaration, Jadeite rubbed his eyes...

 

MALE VOICE

Excuse me!

 

The girl at the computer startles visibly, and looks around the room.No one is there.

 

MALE VOICE

(irritably)I mean, honestly, don't you pretend that you know me as a character, Storygoddess?You should know that I'd never say anything as clichťd and ridiculous as 'did anyone catch the number of that 747?' -- even if I did get hit with an airplane during my last episode.I know that.

 

GIRL

(frightened)Who's there?

 

MALE VOICE

I'm amazed that you don't recognize my voice.I know you're used to hearing me speak in Japanese, but you don't speak it; you can't write me in anything but English, so that's all I can use to speak to you.But would it make you understand if I gave a speech in Japanese, a "Watashi wa Jaedaito...?"

 

Rubbing at her eyes with balled fists, she blinks hard.Without warning, she giggles aloud.

 

GIRL

Wow, do I need more sleep.Jadeite, you're just gonna have to wait.

 

She stands up and moves her mouse as if she is going to shut the writing program down, but the voice (by now easily identifiable) interrupts.

 

JADEITE'S VOICE

Oh, don't do that!I don't want to be left helpless in this cave...

 

The girl sighs, and settles herself back down in the desk chair.

 

GIRL

All right, all right.I may be hearing one of my characters speaking to me, but at least I don't have writer's block.

 

After stretching her arms and rolling her neck, she sighs and resumes typing.

 

GIRL

(muttering)I thought that 747 line was pretty darn clever, myself.

 


 

EXT. DARK CAVERN, NO TIME DISTINGUISHABLE

 

Nothing has changed, except for that a still-tattered Jadeite is standing under his own power now, arms akimbo, staring at the ceiling.

 

JADEITE

Thank you, Storygoddess.

 

GIRL'S VOICE

(soft, echoing)Yeah, yeah.Let me think of something better...

 

JADEITE

You know, don't you usually write about Kunzite and Zoisite?Don't you like them best, out of the four of us?Why're you writing me?

 

GIRL'S VOICE

(still soft, echoing, but tinged with irritation)I felt like trying something different, okay?You should feel fortunate!

 

JADEITE

(grumbles)Just so there's no shounen-ai concerning me.

 

GIRL'S VOICE

There won't be.Now, where was I...?

 

Jadeite suddenly shakes his head and moves back to the wall, back to the same position he'd been in when he'd made the ill-fated 747 comment.

 

JADEITE

(coughs)Next time I'll be sure to attack with something a little smaller than a jet liner -- something that I couldn't lose control of quite so easily.

 

He pauses a moment in thought; the look in his blue-violet eyes goes distant, and the still-military set of his shoulders droops a bit.

 

JADEITE

What am I talking about, next time?I'm supposed to be dead; they won't want me back.

 

He looks around and sighs, rubbing his eyes with his left hand.

 

JADEITE

So.I'd better get going.

 

Pushing himself away from the wall, he begins walking in a southerly direction through the cave.His gait is unsteady at first, a miserable limp, but his muscles quickly become used to walking again, and his regaining ease in movement is a visible transition.

 


 

INT. BEDROOM OF A TEENAGE GIRL, 9:54 P.M.

 

The girl sitting at her keyboard yawns and moves the mouse to save her file.

 

GIRL

I think this is good enough for now.Anyway.I need to go to bed; I've got a history test tomorrow.

 

She's already ready for bed, dressed in flannel pajamas, and so she clicks the computer off and climbs between the sheets.Just then, there is a knock at the door of her bedroom.

 

GIRL

(yawns again)Come in, Dad.

 

A tall man peeks his head in.

 

DAD

How'd you know it was me?

 

GIRL

'Cause you always check on me about now every night, when you tell me to shut the computer off.And look -- I'm already in bed for once!

 

DAD

That's good.You may think you're practically an adult, but you still need your rest.

 

 

He shoots the dormant computer a quick look.

 

DAD

I thought I heard you talking a while ago...?

 

The girl shrugs beneath the blanket.

 

GIRL

Hmm... maybe I was talking to myself; I guess I don't remember.But I do that occasionally, you know. Goodnight, Dad.Say goodnight to Mom when she comes home from class.

 

DAD

(exiting, closing the door) I will.Goodnight.

 

JADEITE'S VOICE

(softly)And you're just going to leave me in this cave?

 

GIRL

(sleepily)There could be worse places to stay than an empty cave...

 

Her breathing gradually becomes slow and regular; she's asleep.No other sounds are audible in the room, and it will remain silent like this all night.


 

INT. DARK CAVERN, NO TIME DISTINGUISHABLE

 

This is a different section of the cave; the soft, inexplicable green glow has been replaced by the orangey glare of fire, coming from the line of torches on the wall.Jadeite is still walking, breathing moderately heavily.

 

 JADEITE

I wouldn't mind this so much if I knew where I was going and how I got here.I sincerely hope I run into someone to ask eventu-

 

His voice trails off, and he stops dead in his tracks.Up about five hundred meters ahead, the bright orange glow abruptly ends.

 

JADEITE

Either the torches stop -- and the sharp ending with no reflection of the last few makes me doubt that -- or the cave is ending!

 

He doesn't start running yet, but he appears to be struggling to hold back the urge; his walking speed increases with each step.

 

After a few hurried minutes, he reaches the blackness.As he'd guessed, the cave ends, but, as he cautiously steps over the threshold, he can't help but observe and consider one thing.

 

JADEITE

(wonderingly) I'm not stepping into bright sunlight... am I just heading into another cave?

 


 

EXT. DARK GARDENS, NO TIME DISTINGUISHABLE

 

There is a black, multi-spired castle looming approximately a kilometer away, near the horizon, beneath the blue-violet sky that, despite the lack of sun, lights up the panorama.

 

In front of the castle is a grand, ornate garden, filled with creeping dark greenish tendrils and large, bright, malformed blossoms, native to the Dark Kingdom.

 

At Jadeite's feet is a path that passes by twisted rock formations and trees.He looks down at that first, then he slowly raises his gaze to take in the entire scene.

 

JADEITE

I know where this is.

 

He begins to walk down the path, ducking as some low-hanging tree branches tangle into his hair.After walking for several meters, he turns a corner and passes between two large boulders that block his vision of the other side.

 


 

TRAINING YARD

 

On the other side of the two boulders is a large, flat, square arena, framed by the garden and by the stone benches lining the perimeter.

 

Two men battle in hand-to-hand combat in the center of this arena.As Jadeite watches, the shorter manages to kick the taller's knee out from under him.He then proceeds to maneuver himself behind his opponent, to bend and hold his arm up behind his back, and to push him to the ground, straddling his back, still holding his arm.

 

The smaller man, ZOISITE, chuckles and pushes KUNZITE'S arm up farther, eliciting a soft grunt of pain from the prone man.

 

ZOISITE

(semi-breathless)Give up, Kunzite-sama?

  

Kunzite doesn't say a word, but his booted toes finally find purchase on the ground, and he suddenly pushes himself up to all fours by his feet and one free hand.Zoisite, clearly surprised, loses his grip and slips off Kunzite's back, landing heavily on the floor.

 

KUNZITE

(calmly)No.You?

 

Zoisite, the fall obviously having rendered him inarticulate, growls.

 

KUNZITE

(with a half-smile)Next time you try that move, don't straddle your victim; kneel beside him and put your knee into the small of his back.It'll keep you in charge; if someone tries a move like I did, you could simply press down on his spine.

 

Jadeite, from his hidden vantage point between the two boulders, nods.He knows this.

 


 

INT. BEDROOM OF A TEENAGE GIRL, 4:30 P.M.

 

The girl leans back in her chair and frowns.

 

GIRL

Hmm... now what should happen?

 

She steeples her fingers below her chin and thinks, closing her eyes.

 

GIRL

...and then Zoisite said...

 

ZOISITE'S VOICE

Did you have to embarrass me like that?

 

The girl's eyes snap open.

 

GIRL

What?Oh, man... I thought I got over these delusions yesterday.

 

ZOISITE'S VOICE

It was nice to see me taking the upper hand in a fight for once... why did you have to go and ruin it like that?

 

GIRL

(rolling eyes)I'm not rewriting that scene.I liked it even more than the 747 line.It drew from lessons from years of karate, and...

 

JADEITE'S VOICE

(interrupting)I thought you said this story was about me!

 

ZOISITE'S VOICE

Besides, you once put me on the hurting end of a lesson you learned in karate in another story!Couldn't you let someone else learn it?

 

GIRL

Well, since you were the only one to get decked in an episode, I figured you could use the help I give you in fanfics.

The room quiets for a moment.

  

ZOISITE'S VOICE

(petulantly) That's not fair.Besides, it's a bit demeaning that it always has to be Kunzite-sama that teaches me.Aren't you adamantly against me being a know-nothing, so needy of Kunzite-sama's seemingly omnipotent knowledge, as so many authors seem to portray us?

 

KUNZITE'S VOICE

Personally, I never had much problem with that, though constantly being the dull teacher-type gets a bit constricting at times.

 

JADEITE'S VOICE

(resignedly) And the straight guy gets shoved to the sidelines once again.Yeah, that's how it goes.I know.

 

GIRL

(clearly exasperated)Aaah!Okay, okay.Let's try this again, then.Sheez.

 

She runs her hands through her hair and massages her face, then glares at the screen.

 

GIRL

How d'you like this, then? 

 


 

TRAINING YARD

 

The situation is the same as it was a few seconds before the interruption.

 

ZOISITE

(semi-breathless)Give up, Kunzite-sama?

 

Remaining silent, Kunzite moves his feet as stealthily as he can, seeking purchase on the rocky ground that he could use to gain a quick upward movement.

 

Zoisite quickly slides off his back and kneels beside the other man, using his right knee for balance on the ground as he digs the left into Kunzite's spine.

 

ZOISITE

Oh no, you don't.I know that move.

 

KUNZITE

(calmly)I suppose I don't give you enough credit, then.Okay, the match is yours.

 

JADEITE

(aside)Yeah, right.Not only do I not believe that, I can't believe he can say that with a straight face.

 

ZOISITE

I know that move, too. In fact, I believe it was me who showed it to you.

 

To assert his dominance, he presses down on Kunzite's back and up on his arm yet again, and Kunzite breathes in sharply through his teeth.

 

KUNZITE

(strained)No, really.I'm tired of sparring.Don't you want dinner?I swear, I give up.

 

ZOISITE

(warningly)You are in so much trouble if you're lying.You're just lucky I'm hungry.

 

Cautiously, he releases Kunzite's upper arm and stands up, shaking out his sweaty curls as he does so.

 

The other follows, standing up and stretching his right arm with a wince.

 

KUNZITE

(wince mildly apparent in his voice)So, what do you want to have for dinner?

 

ZOISITE

(shrugging)Iím not sure... shall we go look?

 

Jadeite, still in the shadows between the rocks, grimaces and places a hand on his stomach.

 

JADEITE

(reflectively) I have no idea the last time I ate someth...


 

INT. BEDROOM OF A TEENAGE GIRL, 5:20 P.M.

 

JADEITE'S VOICE

...ing. And, you know, thatís quite a stupid line.

 

The girl sighs, and buries her head in her hands.

 

GIRL

I know.I know!But itís the most convenient excuse I could come up with to get you out of the shadows and back into the scene.Isnít that what you said you wanted?

 

JADEITE'S VOICE

(peevishly)Does that matter?Youíre the Storygoddess here; Iím just the poor character at mercy to your whim.

 

The girl continues to hold her head in her hands, exhausted.

 

GIRL

Yeah, right.And I wish youíd quit calling me that.Itís really, really weird, and kind of disturbing.

 

JADEITE'S VOICE

Sorry.Now, could you write me a better line?

 

GIRL

Like I said, I know it was stupid, but I had no other ideas!Do you?

 

JADEITE'S VOICE

(indifferently)Hey, Iím just the figment of the imagination; youíre the Storygodde- whatever.

 

ZOISITE'S VOICE

Incidentally, I did like the way you handled that scene the second time.I felt much better about myself.

 

GIRL

Well, I guess that's good.

 

She pauses and frowns at the screen, clearly thinking.

 

GIRL

I think Iím going to go get a snack.And try to remember why in the world I decided I wanted to write this story, anyway.

 

JADEITE'S VOICE

'Cause you want to be an author?

 

ZOISITE'S VOICE

'Cause we're such darned compelling characters?††

 

KUNZITE'S VOICE

'Cause it was a school assignment?

 

GIRL

Shut up.

 

She moves the mouse, clicks the save icon, and shuts the writing program down.

 

Pausing a second, she tilts her head, listening for any complaints.When none come, she shrugs, and exits the room, her footsteps pounding through the hall and down the stairs.

 


 

EXT. DARK GARDENS, NO TIME DISTINGUISHABLE

 

This is not the same location as the one earlier.Instead, it's further up on the path, closer to the castle.The flora is much the same as it is right out of the cave's entrance.

 

Zoisite and Kunzite are walking down the path, side by side, occasionally murmuring inaudibly to each other. Jadeite follows surreptitiously a few paces behind.They travel in this manner for several meters.

 

KUNZITE

(after some time, without looking back) Jadeite, I don't know how you ended up getting out of Eternal Sleep, but if you want dinner, you're more likely to receive it if you ask, rather than just sneak around like some sort of criminal on the lam.Which I suppose you are, of a sort, but that wouldn't change the way we treat you.

 

Jadeite, hiding in the shadows of a particularly large plant, stumbles and curses few unintelligible syllables.He steps into the light, nonplussed.

 

JADEITE

How...?

 

KUNZITE

And if you aren't after something to eat, still, I think you'd be best to stop trying to shadow us as if you were some sort of assassin.You're more likely to get hurt that way.

 

ZOISITE

(deliberately casual)One would think, due to the unpolished state of your stalking skills, that you have been letting yourself go.Perhaps you merited that punishment inflicted upon you?


 

INT. BEDROOM OF A TEENAGE GIRL, 6:57 P.M.

 

The room is much darker than it was last seen, but the girl's position is familiar: she's hunched over the computer as usual, typing methodically.

 

ZOISITE'S VOICE

Say, Storygoddess...

 

GIRL

(annoyed)Wait a sec -- that line was perfectly in character with the false nonchalance you so-often use to make yourself feel superior to others.

 

ZOISITE'S VOICE

(cheerfully) Say, Storygoddess, I wanted to congratulate you for coming up with such a great line for me to say. Much appreciated.

 

GIRL

Er... thank you.

 

She stops a second to consider what she's saying.

 

GIRL

You're not real, you know.Why am I thanking you?

 

JADEITE'S VOICE

The more important question, I think, is why aren't you feeding me?You wrote me hungry; just 'cause you had a snack and aren't anymore doesn't mean I'm not!

 

GIRL

Huh?I did what?Oh!Right!I haven't worked on this story since I left to get a snack... Thursday?Yeah, I think that was when it was.

 

KUNZITE'S VOICE

What, now?

 

GIRL

(giggles)How surreal!You all haven't moved or thought since I shut the writing program down two days ago!I guess I'm in control, after all!

 

She flips on the desk light, revealing that she's wearing clothing different from what she was wearing in her last scene.

 

GIRL

So, anyway.Let's move it along.I want to get this finished tonight.

 


 

EXT. DARK GARDENS, NO TIME DISTINGUISHABLE

All three men stand looking upward, much like Jadeite alone had during his first conversation with the girl.

 

KUNZITE

Tonight?

 

JADEITE

Will that be enough time to resolve everything?



GIRL'S VOICE

(smugly)Who's the... the Storygoddess here?Now, back to the scene.Behave.

 

Each man suddenly resumes the position he'd had before conversing with the author.

 

JADEITE

(to Zoisite)You know I didn't deserve that punishment.

 

Zoisite shrugs, not willing to concede anything, and the men begin walking again, Jadeite still a few paces behind the other two.He's no longer bothering to hide, but his step and posture still demonstrate irritation.

 

They continue walking up the winding path to the castle, Kunzite and Zoisite still occasionally leaning over and muttering something to the other.

 


 

INT. KUNZITE'S AND ZOISITE'S DINING ROOM

A large black table dominates one half of the room, and a few scraps of food and half-full glasses still sit in front of three used place settings.The other half of the room is mostly empty, with only a sofa-like piece of furniture and a small table.

 

Jadeite is sitting in front of one of these settings, leaning back in the chair. Zoisite is lounging across the sofa-like object, bare feet dangling over one arm.Kunzite is nowhere to be seen.

 

Zoisite raises one arm in front of his face and inspects it.

 

ZOISITE

I do hope Kunzite-sama's not too long in the shower.He wasn't the only one who got dirty sparring.

 

Jadeite pointedly looks down at his own mangled uniform, which makes Zoisite's slightly smudged clothing look spotless by comparison.

 

Zoisite smiles condescendingly, says nothing, and, not lowering his arm, examines his fingernails.

 

JADEITE

(yawning)I wonder if it would be safe for me to go home...By the way, neither you nor Kunzite ever answered me; do either of you know how I managed to escape Eternal Sleep?

 

ZOISITE

Honestly?I think we're as puzzled as you are.At least, I know I am.As far as Kunzite-sama goes... well, not even I can read him all the time.I don't know.

 

Right at that moment, Kunzite enters the room, fully dressed in clean clothes, toweling off wet hair.

 

KUNZITE

I don't know, either.My condolences, Jadeite.

 

Unexpectedly, all three men in the room freeze.

 

GIRL'S VOICE

Now, before any of you protest, let me finish this train of thought, okay?

 

They nod, and the scene resumes.

 

KUNZITE

(continuing)However, you were punished, and for good reason -- constant failure.You're a liability.

 

Behind him, from the shadows, step two masked, male youma guards bearing swords.

 

JADEITE

(alarmed)What?

 

In his surprise, he jerks, and sends his chair -- with him seated in it -- over backwards, and the guards take this opportunity to rush in and grab him by the arms.

 

ZOISITE

(calmly)It's nothing personal, Jadeite.You know you weren't supposed to get out of Eternal Sleep.We didn't like having to do this, but harboring an escapee could put either of us in considerable threat of similar punishment.I hope you understand.

 

KUNZITE

And also,do understand that if we hadn't caught you... well, some one else would've.It's not something you -- or anyone else -- could have prevented.You were going to end up back in Eternal Sleep one way or another.

 

Jadeite struggles, but can do nothing to break the hold.After some time, he slumps in their grasp.

 

JADEITE

(hangs head)I know.And I think I knew all along.Well, thank you for dinner, and I hope you both suffer the same fate that I do in the end.Goodnight.

 

He straightens, holding himself as proudly as possible, andwalks with the captors out of the room without a backward glance.

 


 

INT. BEDROOM OF A TEENAGE GIRL, 8:47 P.M.

 

The girl's typing slows to a stop, and she stretches her arms with a contented sigh.

 

JADEITE'S VOICE

Wait just one minute!You can't do that!

 

GIRL

Sorry, but that's the only way I could think of to end it.

 

JADEITE'S VOICE

Liar!There are plenty of alternatives to that!

 

GIRL

Okay, I'll admit, I did consider other ways to end it.But that's the only way I wanted to do it.Sorry, man.Maybe I'll write you in another story later on with more of a happy ending.As long as you don't bug me.

 

JADEITE'S VOICE

Hey!

 

But the girl leans forward once again, and her fingers make a few final, well-practiced keystrokes.

 

On the computer screen, the letters appear:THE END.

 

GIRL

(to herself)In the future, I may consider writing mainly-senshi piece, just for variety.They may be nicer and less-annoying.

 

Then she stops, cocks her head, and winces at her thoughts.

 

GIRL

Well, as long as their voices don't get too high-pitched.

 

She stands up, moves her mouse to save her file, and shuts the computer off.Then she leaves her room, and runs through the hall and downstairs.

 

From the kitchen downstairs, her parents' voices come wafting up to the bedroom.

 

DAD'S VOICE

Oh, so you're finally done?We finally get to see your face again, away from the monitor?

 

GIRL'S VOICE

(sheepishly)Yeah... for now.

 

MOM'S VOICE

And you're going to stop talking to yourself?It does make us worry a bit, you know.

 

GIRL'S VOICE

I know, Mom.But it really helps me write!I mean, seriously.Writing a story is not always easy -- sometimes we writers do have to resort to creative methods!

 

DAD'S VOICE

You're really odd.

 

GIRL'S VOICE

I know that, too.

 

 


 

THE END

 


 

AUTHOR'S NOTE

Yeah, it's a quasi-self-insert.Deal with it.To further explain the description of this story on the main fanfics page... I was supposed to write a twenty-page script for class, but I couldn't think of anything that wasn't DK.So finally I just went with it -- the final draft I turned in had all Sailormoon references changed, including the names of the characters, but I saved the original 'cause... well, it was fun!And that's why I posted this.I just hope it wasn't too incredibly stupid.But then, why shouldn't it be?It was for school!

 

One thing I do want to note -- I said quasi-self-insert because the girl in this story really isn't me per se; for one thing, the room described in this isn't exactly set up like mine is. I'm not lucky enough to have a computer in my bedroom -- heck, I don't even have a desk! Also, the conversations described have never, to the best of my memory, taken place. But the sentiments... those are all mine.

 

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