Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon is basically the property of Takeuchi Naoko, Kodansha Comics, and Toei Animation.
Note: This is written in the script format designated by my class. All description and most action is on the far left; dialogue is more centered, and under the speaker's name. Anything in parenthesis is a stage direction. The horizontal lines separate scenes. Just for the six of you who I know won't be able to figure it out. And I apologize if anyone can't read this due to the strange margins; if anyone has a problem, don't hesitate to e-mail me and let me know. I'm experimenting with this, you see... I'm not quite sure what I'm doing, but here goes!
IT'S NOT ALWAYS EASY
A
Screenplay
By Gita Toronjil-Lee
INT. DARK CAVERN, NO TIME
DISTINGUISHABLE
The cave is dark and still, lit only by
a few greenish glows in the crevices from unseen light sources.
In the center of the cave is a slumped
male form, lying on the ground face-first, dark grayish clothing torn, short
blonde hair tousled. This man, JADEITE,
is the only thing visible in this area.
JADEITE
(groans)
Don't wanna get up...
Nevertheless, the form stirs, and
pushes itself up with its hands, bringing its knees under it, ending in a tired
sitting position. Jadeite slowly raises
his head, and, despite the darkness, the whites of his dark eyes glitter.
JADEITE
Well,
that much accomplished. I really can't
just lay here, I suppose... even if I still don't want to get up. Oh, well.
What kind of warrior would I be if I just gave up and quit moving?
Every word he has said has echoed throughout
the cavern, but it is only now that he seems to notice this, looking around
himself confusedly.
JADEITE
Where
in the world am I? The last thing I
remember is... is...
He looks up, searching his memory for
an answer, and is eventually supplied with the last words he remembers hearing,
which now seem to ring through the cave.
WOMAN'S
VOICE
(hollow-sounding, distant) Eien no
nemuri...
JADEITE
Queen
Beryl-sama. The eternal sleep
crystal. I was supposed to be punished
by remaining there forever... how did I escape?
His head falls forward miserably, but
after a few seconds his hands reach and slide upward into his hair, and he rubs
his scalp. He sighs, and carefully
pushes himself to a standing position, tottering forward a few steps to recover
his equilibrium, finally resorting to bracing himself against the rock wall
with his right hand.
Now standing, he looks down at himself,
and his fingers move to touch the violent-looking, charred tears down the front
of his sturdy jacket.
JADEITE
(absently
categorizing, as though he does not realize he is talking)
My
uniform is torn...
His free left hand moves in front of
his face, and he looks at the smudges that run down it. Though he cannot see that his face is
similarly dirtied, he can see his lower body, and the disturbed expression that
crosses his features as he analyzes this shows that he is realizing that the
smudges are not limited to his arm.
JADEITE
...there
are black marks all over me...
He looks further down, toward his thick
leather footwear.
JADEITE
...there
are holes in my boots...
His vision travels back to his bare
hands.
JADEITE
...and
I've no idea as to where my gloves went.
The look on his face through this
exploration of his injuries has changed from incredulous horror to disgust to
confusion, and now is settling into a sort of denial/resignation.
JADEITE
(weakly, sarcastically) Did anyone catch the number of the 747 that hit me?
INT. BEDROOM OF A TEENAGE GIRL, 8:13
P.M.
The room is relatively small. A large window faces the door; along the
left wall is a twin bed, over which are a number of posters featuring various
anime characters, and along the right wall is a desk/dresser with a computer on
the top. A teenage girl sits typing at this computer.
There are no lights on in the room, but
the glare of the numbers on her digital alarm clock illuminates her hands; her
face is lit by the glow of the monitor.
The GIRL is lost in concentration, but
is smiling faintly as she types.
GIRL
(muttering
to self) ...after making this weary declaration, Jadeite rubbed his eyes...
MALE
VOICE
Excuse
me!
The girl at the computer startles
visibly, and looks around the room. No
one is there.
MALE
VOICE
(irritably) I mean, honestly, don't you pretend that you
know me as a character, Storygoddess?
You should know that I'd never say anything as clichéd and ridiculous as
'did anyone catch the number of that 747?' -- even if I did get hit with an airplane during my last episode. I know that.
GIRL
(frightened) Who's there?
MALE
VOICE
I'm
amazed that you don't recognize my voice.
I know you're used to hearing me speak in Japanese, but you don't speak
it; you can't write me in anything but English, so that's all I can use to
speak to you. But would it make you
understand if I gave a speech in Japanese, a "Watashi wa
Jaedaito...?"
Rubbing
at her eyes with balled fists, she blinks hard. Without warning, she giggles aloud.
GIRL
Wow,
do I need more sleep. Jadeite, you're
just gonna have to wait.
She stands up and moves her mouse as if
she is going to shut the writing program down, but the voice (by now easily
identifiable) interrupts.
JADEITE'S
VOICE
Oh,
don't do that! I don't want to be left
helpless in this cave...
The
girl sighs, and settles herself back down in the desk chair.
GIRL
All
right, all right. I may be hearing one
of my characters speaking to me, but at least I don't have writer's block.
After
stretching her arms and rolling her neck, she sighs and resumes typing.
GIRL
(muttering) I thought that 747 line was pretty darn
clever, myself.
EXT.
DARK CAVERN, NO TIME DISTINGUISHABLE
Nothing
has changed, except for that a still-tattered Jadeite is standing under his own
power now, arms akimbo, staring at the ceiling.
JADEITE
Thank
you, Storygoddess.
GIRL'S
VOICE
(soft,
echoing) Yeah, yeah. Let me think of something better...
JADEITE
You
know, don't you usually write about Kunzite and Zoisite? Don't you like them best, out of the four of
us? Why're you writing me?
GIRL'S VOICE
(still
soft, echoing, but tinged with irritation)
I felt like trying something different, okay? You should feel fortunate!
JADEITE
(grumbles) Just so there's no shounen-ai concerning me.
GIRL'S
VOICE
There
won't be. Now, where was I...?
Jadeite
suddenly shakes his head and moves back to the wall, back to the same position
he'd been in when he'd made the ill-fated 747 comment.
JADEITE
(coughs) Next time I'll be sure to attack with
something a little smaller than a jet liner -- something that I couldn't lose
control of quite so easily.
He
pauses a moment in thought; the look in his blue-violet eyes goes distant, and
the still-military set of his shoulders droops a bit.
JADEITE
What am I talking about, next
time? I'm supposed to be dead; they
won't want me back.
He
looks around and sighs, rubbing his eyes with his left hand.
JADEITE
So. I'd better get going.
Pushing
himself away from the wall, he begins walking in a southerly direction through
the cave. His gait is unsteady at
first, a miserable limp, but his muscles quickly become used to walking again,
and his regaining ease in movement is a visible transition.
INT.
BEDROOM OF A TEENAGE GIRL, 9:54 P.M.
The
girl sitting at her keyboard yawns and moves the mouse to save her file.
GIRL
I
think this is good enough for now.
Anyway. I need to go to bed;
I've got a history test tomorrow.
She's
already ready for bed, dressed in flannel pajamas, and so she clicks the
computer off and climbs between the sheets.
Just then, there is a knock at the door of her bedroom.
GIRL
(yawns
again) Come in, Dad.
A tall
man peeks his head in.
DAD
How'd
you know it was me?
GIRL
'Cause
you always check on me about now every night, when you tell me to shut the
computer off. And look -- I'm already
in bed for once!
DAD
That's
good. You may think you're practically
an adult, but you still need your rest.
He
shoots the dormant computer a quick look.
DAD
I
thought I heard you talking a while ago...?
The
girl shrugs beneath the blanket.
GIRL
Hmm...
maybe I was talking to myself; I guess I don't remember. But I do that occasionally, you know.
Goodnight, Dad. Say goodnight to Mom
when she comes home from class.
DAD
(exiting,
closing the door) I will. Goodnight.
JADEITE'S
VOICE
(softly) And you're just going to leave me in this cave?
GIRL
(sleepily) There could be worse places to stay than an empty cave...
Her breathing gradually becomes slow and regular; she's asleep. No other sounds are audible in the room, and it will remain silent like this all night.
INT. DARK CAVERN, NO TIME
DISTINGUISHABLE
This is a different section of the
cave; the soft, inexplicable green glow has been replaced by the orangey glare
of fire, coming from the line of torches on the wall. Jadeite is still walking, breathing moderately heavily.
JADEITE
I wouldn't mind this so much if I knew
where I was going and how I got here. I
sincerely hope I run into someone to ask eventu-
His
voice trails off, and he stops dead in his tracks. Up about five hundred meters ahead, the bright orange glow abruptly
ends.
JADEITE
Either
the torches stop -- and the sharp ending with no reflection of the last few
makes me doubt that -- or the cave is ending!
He doesn't start running yet, but he appears to be
struggling to hold back the urge; his walking speed increases with each
step.
After a few hurried minutes, he reaches the blackness. As he'd guessed, the cave ends, but, as he
cautiously steps over the threshold, he can't help but observe and consider one
thing.
JADEITE
(wonderingly) I'm not stepping into bright sunlight... am I just heading into another cave?
EXT. DARK GARDENS, NO TIME DISTINGUISHABLE
There is a black, multi-spired castle
looming approximately a kilometer away, near the horizon, beneath the
blue-violet sky that, despite the lack of sun, lights up the panorama.
In front of the castle is a grand,
ornate garden, filled with creeping dark greenish tendrils and large, bright,
malformed blossoms, native to the Dark Kingdom.
At Jadeite's feet is a path that passes
by twisted rock formations and trees.
He looks down at that first, then he slowly raises his gaze to take in
the entire scene.
JADEITE
I know where this is.
He begins to walk down the path, ducking as some low-hanging
tree branches tangle into his hair.
After walking for several meters, he turns a corner and passes between
two large boulders that block his vision of the other side.
TRAINING YARD
On the other side of the two boulders
is a large, flat, square arena, framed by the garden and by the stone benches
lining the perimeter.
Two men battle in hand-to-hand combat
in the center of this arena. As Jadeite
watches, the shorter manages to kick the taller's knee out from under him. He then proceeds to maneuver himself behind
his opponent, to bend and hold his arm up behind his back, and to push him to
the ground, straddling his back, still holding his arm.
The smaller man, ZOISITE, chuckles and
pushes KUNZITE'S arm up farther, eliciting a soft grunt of pain from the prone
man.
ZOISITE
(semi-breathless) Give up, Kunzite-sama?
Kunzite doesn't say a word, but his
booted toes finally find purchase on the ground, and he suddenly pushes himself
up to all fours by his feet and one free hand.
Zoisite, clearly surprised, loses his grip and slips off Kunzite's back,
landing heavily on the floor.
KUNZITE
(calmly) No.
You?
Zoisite, the fall obviously having rendered him
inarticulate, growls.
KUNZITE
(with
a half-smile) Next time you try that
move, don't straddle your victim; kneel beside him and put your knee into the
small of his back. It'll keep you in
charge; if someone tries a move like I did, you could simply press down on his
spine.
Jadeite, from his hidden vantage point between the two boulders, nods. He knows this.
INT. BEDROOM OF A TEENAGE GIRL, 4:30
P.M.
The girl leans back in her chair and frowns.
GIRL
Hmm...
now what should happen?
She steeples her fingers below her chin
and thinks, closing her eyes.
GIRL
...and
then Zoisite said...
ZOISITE'S
VOICE
Did
you have to embarrass me like that?
The girl's eyes snap open.
GIRL
What? Oh, man... I thought I got over these
delusions yesterday.
ZOISITE'S
VOICE
It was
nice to see me taking the upper hand in a fight for once... why did you have to
go and ruin it like that?
GIRL
(rolling
eyes) I'm not rewriting that
scene. I liked it even more than the
747 line. It drew from lessons from
years of karate, and...
JADEITE'S VOICE
(interrupting) I thought you said this story was about me!
ZOISITE'S
VOICE
Besides,
you once put me on the hurting end of a lesson you learned in karate in another
story! Couldn't you let someone else
learn it?
GIRL
Well, since you were the only one to get decked in an episode, I figured you could use the help I give you in fanfics.
The
room quiets for a moment.
ZOISITE'S
VOICE
(petulantly)
That's not fair. Besides, it's a bit
demeaning that it always has to be Kunzite-sama that teaches me. Aren't you adamantly against me being a
know-nothing, so needy of Kunzite-sama's seemingly omnipotent knowledge, as so
many authors seem to portray us?
KUNZITE'S
VOICE
Personally,
I never had much problem with that, though constantly being the dull
teacher-type gets a bit constricting at times.
JADEITE'S
VOICE
(resignedly)
And the straight guy gets shoved to the sidelines once again. Yeah, that's how it goes. I know.
GIRL
(clearly
exasperated) Aaah! Okay, okay.
Let's try this again, then.
Sheez.
She runs her hands through her hair and
massages her face, then glares at the screen.
GIRL
How d'you like this, then?
TRAINING
YARD
The situation is the same as it was a few seconds before the
interruption.
ZOISITE
(semi-breathless) Give up, Kunzite-sama?
Remaining silent, Kunzite moves his
feet as stealthily as he can, seeking purchase on the rocky ground that he
could use to gain a quick upward movement.
Zoisite quickly slides off his back and
kneels beside the other man, using his right knee for balance on the ground as
he digs the left into Kunzite's spine.
ZOISITE
Oh no, you don't. I know that move.
KUNZITE
(calmly) I suppose I don't give you enough credit,
then. Okay, the match is yours.
JADEITE
(aside) Yeah, right. Not only do I not believe that, I can't believe he can say that
with a straight face.
ZOISITE
I know
that move, too. In fact, I believe it was me who showed it to you.
To assert his dominance, he presses
down on Kunzite's back and up on his arm yet again, and Kunzite breathes in
sharply through his teeth.
KUNZITE
(strained) No, really.
I'm tired of sparring. Don't you
want dinner? I swear, I give up.
ZOISITE
(warningly) You are in so much trouble if you're
lying. You're just lucky I'm hungry.
Cautiously,
he releases Kunzite's upper arm and stands up, shaking out his sweaty curls as
he does so.
The other follows, standing up and stretching his right arm with a wince.
KUNZITE
(wince mildly apparent in his voice) So, what do you want to have for dinner?
ZOISITE
(shrugging) I’m not sure... shall we go look?
Jadeite, still in the shadows between the rocks, grimaces and places a hand on his stomach.
JADEITE
(reflectively) I have no idea the last time I ate someth...
INT. BEDROOM OF A TEENAGE GIRL, 5:20 P.M.
JADEITE'S VOICE
...ing. And, you know, that’s quite a stupid line.
The girl sighs, and buries her head in her hands.
GIRL
I know. I know! But it’s the most convenient excuse I could come up with to get you out of the shadows and back into the scene. Isn’t that what you said you wanted?
JADEITE'S VOICE
(peevishly) Does that matter? You’re the Storygoddess here; I’m just the poor character at mercy to your whim.
The girl continues to hold her head in her hands, exhausted.
GIRL
Yeah, right. And I wish you’d quit calling me that. It’s really, really weird, and kind of disturbing.
JADEITE'S
VOICE
Sorry. Now, could you write me a better line?
GIRL
Like I
said, I know it was stupid, but I had no other ideas! Do you?
JADEITE'S VOICE
(indifferently) Hey, I’m just the figment of the imagination; you’re the Storygodde- whatever.
ZOISITE'S VOICE
Incidentally, I did like the way you handled that scene the second time. I felt much better about myself.
GIRL
Well, I guess that's good.
She pauses and frowns at the screen, clearly thinking.
GIRL
I think I’m going to go get a snack. And try to remember why in the world I decided I wanted to write this story, anyway.
JADEITE'S
VOICE
'Cause you want to be an author?
ZOISITE'S VOICE
'Cause we're such darned compelling characters?
KUNZITE'S
VOICE
'Cause
it was a school assignment?
GIRL
Shut up.
She moves the mouse, clicks the save icon, and shuts the writing program down.
Pausing a second, she tilts her head, listening for any complaints. When none come, she shrugs, and exits the room, her footsteps pounding through the hall and down the stairs.
EXT. DARK GARDENS, NO TIME
DISTINGUISHABLE
This is not the same location as the
one earlier. Instead, it's further up
on the path, closer to the castle. The
flora is much the same as it is right out of the cave's entrance.
Zoisite and Kunzite are walking down
the path, side by side, occasionally murmuring inaudibly to each other. Jadeite
follows surreptitiously a few paces behind.
They travel in this manner for several meters.
KUNZITE
(after
some time, without looking back) Jadeite, I don't know how you ended up getting
out of Eternal Sleep, but if you want dinner, you're more likely to receive it
if you ask, rather than just sneak around like some sort of criminal on the
lam. Which I suppose you are, of a
sort, but that wouldn't change the way we treat you.
Jadeite, hiding in the shadows of a
particularly large plant, stumbles and curses few unintelligible
syllables. He steps into the light,
nonplussed.
JADEITE
How...?
KUNZITE
And if you aren't after something to
eat, still, I think you'd be best to stop trying to shadow us as if you were
some sort of assassin. You're more
likely to get hurt that way.
ZOISITE
(deliberately casual) One would think, due to the unpolished state of your stalking skills, that you have been letting yourself go. Perhaps you merited that punishment inflicted upon you?
INT. BEDROOM OF A TEENAGE GIRL, 6:57
P.M.
The room is much darker than it was
last seen, but the girl's position is familiar: she's hunched over the computer
as usual, typing methodically.
ZOISITE'S
VOICE
Say,
Storygoddess...
GIRL
(annoyed) Wait a sec -- that line was perfectly in
character with the false nonchalance you so-often use to make yourself feel
superior to others.
ZOISITE'S
VOICE
(cheerfully)
Say, Storygoddess, I wanted to congratulate you for coming up with such a great
line for me to say. Much appreciated.
GIRL
Er...
thank you.
She
stops a second to consider what she's saying.
GIRL
You're
not real, you know. Why am I thanking
you?
JADEITE'S
VOICE
The
more important question, I think, is why aren't you feeding me? You wrote me hungry; just 'cause you had a
snack and aren't anymore doesn't mean I'm not!
GIRL
Huh? I did what?
Oh! Right! I haven't worked on this story since I left
to get a snack... Thursday? Yeah, I
think that was when it was.
KUNZITE'S
VOICE
What,
now?
GIRL
(giggles) How surreal! You all haven't moved or thought since I shut the writing program
down two days ago! I guess I'm in
control, after all!
She
flips on the desk light, revealing that she's wearing clothing different from
what she was wearing in her last scene.
GIRL
So,
anyway. Let's move it along. I want to get this finished tonight.
EXT. DARK GARDENS, NO TIME DISTINGUISHABLE
All
three men stand looking upward, much like Jadeite alone had during his first
conversation with the girl.
KUNZITE
Tonight?
JADEITE
Will
that be enough time to resolve everything?
GIRL'S VOICE
(smugly) Who's the... the Storygoddess here? Now, back to the scene. Behave.
Each
man suddenly resumes the position he'd had before conversing with the author.
JADEITE
(to Zoisite) You know I didn't deserve that punishment.
Zoisite
shrugs, not willing to concede anything, and the men begin walking again,
Jadeite still a few paces behind the other two. He's no longer bothering to hide, but his step and posture still
demonstrate irritation.
They
continue walking up the winding path to the castle, Kunzite and Zoisite still
occasionally leaning over and muttering something to the other.
INT. KUNZITE'S AND ZOISITE'S DINING ROOM
A
large black table dominates one half of the room, and a few scraps of food and
half-full glasses still sit in front of three used place settings. The other half of the room is mostly empty,
with only a sofa-like piece of furniture and a small table.
Jadeite
is sitting in front of one of these settings, leaning back in the chair.
Zoisite is lounging across the sofa-like object, bare feet dangling over one
arm. Kunzite is nowhere to be seen.
Zoisite raises one arm in front of his
face and inspects it.
ZOISITE
I do
hope Kunzite-sama's not too long in the shower. He wasn't the only one who got dirty sparring.
Jadeite
pointedly looks down at his own mangled uniform, which makes Zoisite's slightly
smudged clothing look spotless by comparison.
Zoisite
smiles condescendingly, says nothing, and, not lowering his arm, examines his
fingernails.
JADEITE
(yawning) I wonder if it would be safe for me to go
home... By the way, neither you nor
Kunzite ever answered me; do either of you know how I managed to escape Eternal
Sleep?
ZOISITE
Honestly? I think we're as puzzled as you are. At least, I know I am. As far as Kunzite-sama goes... well, not
even I can read him all the time. I
don't know.
Right
at that moment, Kunzite enters the room, fully dressed in clean clothes,
toweling off wet hair.
KUNZITE
I
don't know, either. My condolences,
Jadeite.
Unexpectedly, all three men in the room
freeze.
GIRL'S
VOICE
Now,
before any of you protest, let me finish this train of thought, okay?
They nod, and the scene resumes.
KUNZITE
(continuing) However, you were punished, and for good
reason -- constant failure. You're a
liability.
Behind
him, from the shadows, step two masked, male youma guards bearing swords.
JADEITE
(alarmed) What?
In his
surprise, he jerks, and sends his chair -- with him seated in it -- over
backwards, and the guards take this opportunity to rush in and grab him by the
arms.
ZOISITE
(calmly) It's nothing personal, Jadeite. You know you weren't supposed to get out of
Eternal Sleep. We didn't like having to
do this, but harboring an escapee could put either of us in considerable threat
of similar punishment. I hope you
understand.
KUNZITE
And
also, do understand that if we hadn't
caught you... well, some one else would've.
It's not something you -- or anyone else -- could have prevented. You were going to end up back in Eternal
Sleep one way or another.
Jadeite
struggles, but can do nothing to break the hold. After some time, he slumps in their grasp.
JADEITE
(hangs
head) I know. And I think I knew all along.
Well, thank you for dinner, and I hope you both suffer the same fate
that I do in the end. Goodnight.
He
straightens, holding himself as proudly as possible, and walks with the captors out of the room
without a backward glance.
INT. BEDROOM OF A TEENAGE GIRL, 8:47 P.M.
The
girl's typing slows to a stop, and she stretches her arms with a contented sigh.
JADEITE'S
VOICE
Wait
just one minute! You can't do that!
GIRL
Sorry,
but that's the only way I could think of to end it.
JADEITE'S
VOICE
Liar! There are plenty of alternatives to that!
GIRL
Okay,
I'll admit, I did consider other ways to end it. But that's the only way I wanted to do it. Sorry, man.
Maybe I'll write you in another story later on with more of a happy
ending. As long as you don't bug me.
JADEITE'S
VOICE
Hey!
But the girl leans forward once again,
and her fingers make a few final, well-practiced keystrokes.
On the computer screen, the letters
appear: THE END.
GIRL
(to
herself) In the future, I may consider
writing mainly-senshi piece, just for variety.
They may be nicer and less-annoying.
Then
she stops, cocks her head, and winces at her thoughts.
GIRL
Well,
as long as their voices don't get too high-pitched.
She
stands up, moves her mouse to save her file, and shuts the computer off. Then she leaves her room, and runs through
the hall and downstairs.
From
the kitchen downstairs, her parents' voices come wafting up to the bedroom.
DAD'S
VOICE
Oh, so
you're finally done? We finally get to
see your face again, away from the monitor?
GIRL'S
VOICE
(sheepishly) Yeah... for now.
MOM'S
VOICE
And
you're going to stop talking to yourself?
It does make us worry a bit, you know.
GIRL'S
VOICE
I
know, Mom. But it really helps me
write! I mean, seriously. Writing a story is not always easy --
sometimes we writers do have to resort to creative methods!
DAD'S
VOICE
You're
really odd.
GIRL'S
VOICE
I know
that, too.
THE END
AUTHOR'S NOTE
Yeah, it's a quasi-self-insert. Deal with it. To further explain the description of this story on the main fanfics page... I was supposed to write a twenty-page script for class, but I couldn't think of anything that wasn't DK. So finally I just went with it -- the final draft I turned in had all Sailormoon references changed, including the names of the characters, but I saved the original 'cause... well, it was fun! And that's why I posted this. I just hope it wasn't too incredibly stupid. But then, why shouldn't it be? It was for school!